Nourish vs. Nurture
Growth through love
By: Ayla Khosroshahi, MA, ACC
Get rid of the words “good” and “bad” from your vocabulary. Semantics matter. How you speak to yourself shapes your reality. If we punish ourselves through our self talk, then we are not supporting the growth of our most creative, generous, optimal selves. We’re actually stunting our growth.
Here’s some new vocabulary to try on: nourish vs. nurture
I didn’t think of this concept on my own. My good friend Yasmary taught me this concept on one of our introverts-night-in. She learned it from her therapist. Since she introduced it to me, I can’t get it out of my mind. I find myself applying it to literally all my choices. I’m constantly asking myself: is this nurturing me or nourishing me?
Let me explain.
Nurture is fresh baked bread and butter.
Nourish is a perfectly ripe avocado with pink salt.
Nurture is momentary pleasure.
Nourish is long term care.
Nurture is an event.
Nourish is a relationship.
In other words, is this action nurturing me (making me feel good in the short term) or nourishing me (supporting me in the long term)?
The idea here is to eliminate (or at least minimize) the self-judgement that disempowers us to think and create as our best.
If we induce fear, judgement, and punishment, our amygdala fires, which means our prefrontal cortex dims it’s oh so necessary light. In other words, we diminish our higher thinking, creativity, and potential because we are focused on surviving instead of thriving.
Of course, there are times that we choose to nurture ourselves. We do it when we need that temporary relief, when we need a safety blanket wrapped around us. We do it so we can ground ourselves and heal. And that is perfectly fine!
This simple yet profound distinction between nourish vs. nurture, provides the space and the perspective to make the decisions that best serve us and our values.
Regardless of the moment, season, or situation, address yourself with generosity. The more generous we are with ourselves, the more we lead with generosity, acceptance and trust. #LikeaLeader
Now you try.
Ask yourself: is this nurturing me or nourishing me?
Want to go deeper? Capture your insights after doing this for a week. What are your biggest ‘aha’ moments? How does this add value to your life? How can you apply this learning?
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